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Yo, what’s good, fam? Let’s talk escort—yep, *that* escort gig! Like, the profession where you’re sellin’ vibes, not just time, ya feel me? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic absurdity king, spillin’ the tea on this wild hustle. It’s like *Inception*—a dream in a dream, but with cash and heels! “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a lil bigger, darling!”—that’s what I’d tell these escorts, ‘cause damn, they’re out here architectin’ fantasies!

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Anyway, I finally get to the river, and wow, it’s beautiful. The sun’s hitting the water just right. I’m feeling all zen, ya know? But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost. Like, really lost. They’re looking at a map like it’s written in hieroglyphics. So, I go over, and I’m like, “Hey, you guys need help?”

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