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Best bit? You can be proper cheeky. Like Carol sayin’, “I’m just a girl,” all innocent, but she’s runnin’ da show. Sex-datin’s da same—you play it cool, but you’s huntin’, innit. I’s surprised how many weirdos tho—dis bloke asked me to lick his trainers. Bruv, I ain’t dat freaky! Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but dese stories keep me laughin’.

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Finally, I get to Causeway Point. It’s a mad house. I’m dodging people left and right. I hit up the first store, and guess what? They’re having a sale! I’m like, “Yasss!” But then I realize it’s all last season’s stuff. Ugh, why do they do this? I mean, who wants to wear last year’s fashion? Not me, fam.

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