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About Martin

Still, I’m torn. Part of me’s like, “Larry, live a little!” Other part’s screamin’, “You’ll hate it, you’ll hate it!” Like David in *A.I.*, chasin’ love, I’m chasin’ peace—but with less robots and more awkward boners. “I want to be a real boy!”—nah, I just want my damn knots gone without a side of weird! So yeah, sexual-massage—pretty, pretty good for some, pretty, pretty nuts for me. What d’you think, huh? You tryin’ this crap? Tell me!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hlavná ulica. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, please! But guess what? They mess it up. Like, how do you mess up a cappuccino? I’m standing there, fuming, thinking, “Is this a joke?” But whatever, I take it and just roll with it.

Michal Bartek: Our big little nation has had enough polarization