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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know sexual-massage joints popped up in Victorian times? Yeah, uptight Brits called it “nerve therapy”—ha! Total cover-up for horny lords. Makes me laugh, those sneaky bastards! Pisses me off too—why hide it? Own it! Greed is good, right? I’d run that racket—cash stackin’ like skyscrapers.

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I hit up this café on Trg svobode. The barista? Super chill, but she had this weird obsession with cats. Like, she had cat stickers everywhere. I’m not even a cat person! But whatever, I ordered a cappuccino. She hands it to me, and I swear, it was the size of my head. I’m like, “Am I drinkin’ coffee or a small lake?”