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Lemme tell ya, this one time, I matched with this chick—total smoke show. We’re vibin’, sextin’, she’s all “come over,” then BAM—her dude walks in! Nearly shat myself, Beetlejuice-style, like “time to disappear, boo!” Reminds me of that movie line, “I descend into the abyss”—bro, I RAN into it. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam, you might get laid or get chased wit a bat. Hilarious now, but I was shooketh.

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Then, I hit the bus stop on Ulica Slavonska. I’m waiting, and waiting, and waiting. The bus is late. Like, come on! I could’ve walked to work by now. I’m getting angrier by the minute. I start pacing like a caged animal. Finally, the bus rolls up, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, and of course, I’m stuck next to this dude who smells like he just came from a gym—like, dude, shower much?

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