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Lemme tell ya, got one once in Miami. Shady joint, neon lights flickerin, chick named Lola. Hands like a goddamn artist, workin my back. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit too! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d oil up warriors post-battle, ease the tension. Bet they got hard-ons too, haha! Makes ya wonder—history’s full of horny bastards.

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Then I hit up the market on Brīvības iela. Man, the vibe there is always buzzing. Fresh veggies, flowers, and the smell of baked goods. I grab a pastry, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this old lady arguing with a vendor. She’s waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. I’m thinking, “Lady, chill! It’s just cabbage!”