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Gets me goin’, tho – the cheek of it! Some punters think they’re just arm candy, but nah, these girls got game. One time, this escort I knew, she nicked a bloke’s wallet mid-chat, left him gobsmacked in a Mayfair penthouse. Laughed my arse off when she told me. “The past is a distant country,” like *Tabu* says – she was livin’ it, rewritin’ her story every night.

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Finally, I get to the next job on Via Roma. It’s a café, and they want a new window. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, coffee break!” But no, the barista is a total caffeine fiend. She’s like, “Hurry up! I need my customers!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a magician!” But I get it done, and she hands me a cappuccino. Best part of the day, for real.