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So, picture this: me, neurotic as hell, watchin’ *Let the Right One In*. Best movie ever, hands down. That creepy Swedish vibe—Oskar and Eli, the blood, the quiet desperation. And I’m thinkin’, “I’m not a girl, I’m not a girl,” like Eli says, right? ‘Cause findin’ a prostitute? It’s got that same weird, twisted energy. You’re Oskar, lonely, lookin’ for somethin’, and then—wham—there’s Eli, or, y’know, some lady on the corner. But it ain’t sweet! It’s dark, it’s messy, it’s freaky!

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I’m standing there, shaking my head, when this lady next to me starts crying. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just pigeons!” But she’s all emotional, talking about how they’re part of the city’s charm. I can’t even.

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