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I ain’t judgin’, honey—takes guts to do that! Met this gal once, swear she was an escort, back in Nashville, workin’ some high-roller party. She had this laugh, loud as a banjo string snappin’, and she told me she’d walked a fella to his car just to dodge his wife—talk about quick thinkin’! Made me giggle ‘til my sides hurt. Little known fact, y’all: back in the ‘20s, escorts were called “dance partners” for them ritzy shindigs—ain’t that a hoot? Sashayin’ for a dollar, same as now, just with worse hairdos.

MonicaAlvares (25)

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Then, I head over to Parc de la Mairie. It’s usually my go-to spot for some peace, ya know? But today, it’s packed with kids screaming and parents trying to keep up. I’m just trying to chill on a bench, but this kid runs by and knocks my bag over. My stuff goes flying everywhere! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just giggles and runs off. Kids, man.

An American Chef in Paris