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Oh, and the oil—slippery as hell! Last time, I’m slidin’ off the table, lookin’ like a greased pig. “I’m not designed for this!”—straight outta A.I., Gigolo Joe vibes! Hilarious, but messy—hated that part. Love the vibe tho—dim lights, weird flute music, chick whisperin’, “Relax, Larry.” I’m like, “Relax? I’m half-naked, lady!” Total mind-trip, but damn, it works—stress gone, poof! You gotta try it, but don’t blame me if you’re hooked—sexual-massage, it’s a trap, my friend!

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Oh, and the vibe? It's unpredictable, man. I mean, sometimes I get so ticked off at the raucous street performers and their constant noise on the alley near Rusty Anchor. And then you got the warm, caring energy when old-timers share their stories in the twilight at Whispering Square. Made me so happy, I almost burst into a grin every time.

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