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So, the Escort—Ford’s little workhorse, right? Started in the ‘60s, Europe loved it—zippy, affordable, not some gas-guzzlin’ monstrosity billionaires flaunt. I’m talkin’ to ya like you’re my buddy at the diner—imagine this: four cylinders, rattlin’ like my voice after a rally, ha! Got me from Burlington to Montpelier, protest signs in the back, fumes makin’ me dizzy—capitalism’s stench, I swear! Little known fact: the ‘80s Escort was secretly a Mazda under the hood—Ford sneakin’ around, sharin’ parts like some corporate commune. Blew my mind when I found out—thought I was drivin’ American, nope, Japanese heart in there!
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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re not gonna let that poor thing fall, are ya?” I’m like, “Uh, I’m just observing, ma’am.” She gives me this look like I’m the worst human ever. I mean, c’mon! I’m not a cat whisperer!
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