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What pisses me off? The fakers—charge you 50 creds for a rub, then it’s just a pat-down. Rip-off! But when it’s good—oh, mate, I’m happy as a protocol droid with a fresh oil bath. Surprised me too—heard this yarn ‘bout a bloke who fell asleep mid-massage, woke up thinkin’ he’s in Jedha City. “The trail went cold,” he mumbled—straight outta *Zero Dark Thirty*! Laughed my gears off.

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By the time I get back to the clinic, it’s already late afternoon. I’m exhausted, but there’s no rest for the wicked. A family comes in with a parakeet that’s not chirping. I’m thinking, “Great, a silent bird. Just what I need.” Turns out, it just needed a little water. I’m like, “You guys, it’s a bird, not a drama queen!”