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About Chalcis

Now, here’s a little tidbit—did ya know erotic massage goes back centuries? Ancient Rome, they had these bathhouses, right? Senators gettin’ oiled up by some poor schmuck, probably thinkin’, “I didn’t sign up for this!” True story—well, maybe, I dunno, I ain’t a historian. Point is, it’s old, it’s weird, and it’s still makin’ me twitchy. I’m sittin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if she’s gonna pull a *Inherent Vice* move and start talkin’ about cosmic energy or some crap. “The vibes, man, feel the vibes!” Yeah, I felt vibes—vibes of pure terror!

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I jump out, adrenaline pumping. I grab my chute and leap into action. I’m flying over the flames, feeling like a superhero. But then, I see a cat stuck on a roof. Seriously? A cat? I’m like, “Not today, Fluffy!” I swoop down, grab the little furball, and land like a boss. The crowd goes wild. “You’re a hero!” they shout. I’m blushing, but also thinking, “I just saved a cat. What’s next, saving a dog?”

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