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So, I tried it, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, all that malarkey. Met this bird, thought she was peng, turns out she’s 50, not 25! I was fumin’, bruv, like, what’s good? False advertisin’—should’ve clocked it. But then, there’s this other time, right, smashed it with a fit one. She was like, “Let’s link, no strings.” I’m gassed, innit—pure vibes! Reminds me of that horse in the film, just ploddin’ along, no fuss, no drama.

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First off, I hit the streets of Mlynská. You know, the one with that cute little bakery? Yeah, I thought I’d grab a pastry. But guess what? They were outta my fave, the štrúdľa! Like, seriously? Who runs out of strudel at 8 AM? I was fuming. I mean, come on, it’s Filakovo!

Fiľakovo's Bunker Team walks people around forgotten war-time shelters