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Argh, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been ponderin’ this erotic-massage biz. Ain’t just hands roamin’—it’s a bloomin’ art! Watched *Mulholland Drive* last night, got me thinkin’—all them twisty vibes, shadowy curves, like a good rubdown, eh? “The key’s in the touch,” I says, slurrin’ over me rum.

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After that chaos, I’m exhausted. I head to the bus station on Námestie, ready to go home. But guess what? The bus is late. Of course! I sit down, and this old dude next to me starts telling me his life story. I mean, I appreciate the wisdom, but I just wanna go home!

Futsal: Montenegro wants first three points in qualifiers against Hungary