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But ugh, the stench of it all—sweaty men, cheap perfume—makes me wanna hurl. Gets me proper mad, too, cos half these girls ain’t choosing it—they’re stuck, like me with a crown I didn’t want. Surprised me once, tho—this one chick, she saved up, bought a tavern. Now she’s the queen of her own piss-soaked empire. “Witness me!” she’d yell, flipping off the world. Love that, I do—makes me wanna cheer, even if I’d never admit it.

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After that, I needed a break. So, I headed to Strada Florilor. There’s this little shop that sells the best pastries. I got a slice of cozonac, and OMG, it was heavenly! I was in my happy place, just munching away, when I noticed a street performer. He was playing the accordion, and honestly, he was terrible. But I couldn’t stop watching. It was so bad, it was good. I was cracking up, and people were throwing coins at him. I mean, he was making bank for being awful!

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