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Downside’s the creeps, tho. Some think it’s a green light for more—gross. I’d be like, “Back off, I’m not your porn star!” Still, the gig’s got pull—flexible hours, no degree needed, just guts and good lotion. Fun fact: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”—erotic-massage on steroids, bubbles everywhere. Sounds slippery as hell, I’m dyin’ laughin’ thinkin’ of me tryin’ it. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and they’d see me fallin’ flat on my face.

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Honestly, Navapolatsk is a hot mess of heart and grime. I get mad at the obvious hypocrisy, I get happy at the unexpected passion spilled on every street corner, and sometimes, I’m just dumbfounded by its ironies. Hell, I’ve even cursed out the city itself on stormy nights when the wind carried remnants of lost confessions. Every busted street light tells a tale of hope and despair.

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