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Now, these escorts, they ain’t all what you think. Some got stories—little known fact, chile, lotta them payin for school! Ain’t that a trip? Out here strippin or whatever, then sittin in class next mornin, takin notes like nothin happened. I’m over here yellin, “You go, girl! Get that degree!” But some of em—lordy, they lazy, just want quick cash and a sugar daddy. “You’re playin with fire,” like that *Hurt Locker* line—messin round, catchin feelings or worse, catchin somethin you can’t shake!

How has the Internet changed for the Ghaziabad whores?

First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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