Nova Saldus Brothel ❤️❤️❤️

About Tukums

Alright, so brothels—man, what a mess! I’m sittin’ here, insurance agent by day, thinkin’ bout these joints. Everybody lies, right? Owners swear it’s all legit—ha! Like I’d buy that crap. Place reeks of desperation, cheap perfume, and broken dreams. Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*—y’know, my fave flick. That scene where Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about”? That’s me, yellin’ at these shady brothel runners. They’re all, “It’s just business!” Sure, buddy, and I’m the Queen of England.

Legal situation

So, I’m chugging my coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my driver, Jānis. He’s stuck on Pils iela. Like, seriously? Pils? That street’s always a mess. I mean, who designed this place? A blindfolded raccoon? Anyway, he’s like, “Yo, I can’t move. Traffic’s nuts!” I’m like, “Dude, just take a detour!” But no, he’s too busy staring at the cars like they’re a magic show or something.

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