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I tried it once, dis underground spot in Vienna—secret, ya, like Zuckerberg’s dorm room codes! Dis tiny lady, hands like steel, she’s rubbin’ and kneadin’, I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da best pump ever!” Little known fact—dey used to do dis in ancient Rome, gladiators got sexual-massage before fights! True story, keeps ya loose, ready to TERMINATE da competition! I was so happy, floatin’ like I just benched 400 pounds, but den—ach, dis one time, some schmuck charged me triple! Made me so mad, I wanted to yell, “I’ll be back!” and storm out, but nah, I paid—gotta keep da peace, ya?

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I’m munchin’ away, and I see some folks dancin’. I can’t help but join in. I’m not a dancer, but who cares? We’re all just havin’ a blast. The rain’s comin’ down, but it just adds to the vibe. I’m laughin’, dancin’, and forgettin’ all about the crazy day I had.

Budapest-Kelebia railway line renovation starts in February - trains will be replaced by buses