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Goddamn, I’m ragin’ now! Who thought a boxy pile of bolts could be *that* useless? Happy? Nah, I was chuffed when I saw one pimped out once—shiny rims, loud exhaust—like Jack twistin’ a rope, givin’ it some life! Surprised me, sure, but most Escorts? They’re sadder than a soggy soufflé. Fun bit—heard some geezer in Essex turned one into a chicken coop. True story! Bloody brilliant, that!

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First stop: some dude named Ion. He’s got this old radio setup that’s been on the fritz. I get there, and he’s all like, “It’s broken! Fix it!” I’m like, “Dude, chill. I just got here.” But Ion’s not having it. He’s pacing around like a caged lion.