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What pisses me off? The fakers! These “therapists” charging £100 a pop, rubbing you like they’re waxing a car, no clue what they’re doing. Saw an X post once – bird said her masseur farted mid-session and called it “aromatherapy.” I lost it – cackling ‘til me sides hurt! That’s sexual-massage for ya – half the time it’s a con, half the time it’s a comedy sketch.
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But guess what? I get there, and the place is packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I mean, it’s a Tuesday, not a festival! I’m standing there, trying to find a spot, and I’m like, “C’mon, people, I need my caffeine fix!” Finally, I squeeze into a corner table, and I’m sweating bullets.
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