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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, and I head to my first meeting on de Bovenweg. I’m pumped, ready to help this couple plan their future. But guess what? They’re late. Like, really late. I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve been at home watching Netflix instead. Finally, they stroll in, all casual, like they didn’t just make me wait half an hour. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Seriously?!”

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