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This one time, guy on X posted ‘bout his sex-dating fail—met a chick, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear to God, I laughed ‘til I cried. “The past remains,” like in *The Assassin*—ha, past came back to bite him! Me, I’m careful—check the eyes, family resemblance, y’know? Ain’t no butcher gonna slice that close to home.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to talk about the campaign.” I’m thinking, “Dude, can’t you see I’m busy?” But I can’t say that, so I’m all professional. He’s rambling about colors and fonts, and I’m just nodding, but my mind’s on the beach. I’m like, “Can we do this later?” But no, he’s on a roll.

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