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Hey, pal, it’s me, Tina Fey—yep, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m here, workin’ the telephone lines, spillin’ tea bout prostitutes, ‘cause why not? So, lemme tell ya bout this one chick—total pro, works the streets like it’s her stage, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s got more roles than me on SNL!” Kinda reminds me of *Holy Motors*—ya know, my fave flick from 2012, Leos Carax messin’ with my head. That movie’s wild, all “We’re drivin’ through lives, switchin’ masks!”—and this gal, she’s switchin’ tricks like costumes, bam, bam, bam!

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So, I roll into work at this little shop on Rīgas iela, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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