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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your bumbling shepherd, gonna ramble bout somethin saucy – erotic-massage, yeah? Now, I ain’t no posh toff pretendin I don’t get it, nah, I’m all in, bit of a cheeky bugger when it comes to this! Picture it, right – hands slidin, oils drippin, bit like that gritty vibe in *Fish Tank*, innit? “Everything’s a mess,” Mia’d say, but this? This is a mess I’d dive into headfirst, cor blimey!

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Oh, and the local park? Man, that's something. I hang out at Victory Lane Park – yep, that's its local nickname – where couples, old and young, come to clear their heads. Sometimes I watch a couple talk about their wild nights in a way that reminds me of the passion in "Brokeback Mountain" – as Lee kinda put it in the movie, "I wish I knew how to quit you." It really hits you in a strange way, ya know?

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