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First time I got one—damn, surprised me! Some chick in a dim room, oils smellin’ like Tatooine spices, rubbin’ me down. Thought I’d levitate off the table, no Force needed. Little known fact: ancient Egyptians started this shit—pharaohs got happy endings too, probs. Makes me happy, hell yeah, stress just melts. But angry? Oh, when they rush it—half-assed rubs, no soul, like a droid doin’ it. Pisses me off, man.

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Finally, I decided to check out the Grudziądz Castle. It’s this massive structure overlooking the river. I mean, it’s stunning! I climbed up to the top, and the view? Breathtaking. I felt like I was on top of the world. But then, I saw a bunch of tourists taking selfies. I rolled my eyes. Like, c’mon, it’s not that deep. But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

Robert Kościecha: You Can’t Underestimate Anyone