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Me, I’m obsessed, bruv. First time I got one? Mate, I was shook—didn’t expect it to feel THAT good. Them fingers dancin’ on my spine, teasin’ the knots out—I was like, “I don’t wanna be free!” Straight up quoting Solomon cos it felt like chains breakin’. But here’s the kicker—some dodgy parlors out there, yeah? Got me fumin’ once—paid 50 quid for some half-arsed rubdown. Barely erotic, more like a lazy pat. I wanted to growl, “You think this is freedom?” Proper ripped off.

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But then, disaster strikes. I spill coffee all over my shirt. Ugh! I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess. I’m trying to clean it up, but it’s just spreading. I’m like, “Great, now I look like I’ve been in a food fight.”

Meet Steven Yeun’s wife, his ‘strength’ and mum of his 2 kids, Joana Pak