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Oh, and the ending – “happy” or not – that’s the punchline, innit? Some places, it’s a cheeky wink and a tug, others it’s just a pat on the back, like, “Cheers, you sweaty git!” Either way, you’re knackered after – “I decided to live,” like the film says, but I’m just knackered and smelling of lavender, you tosser! Best bit? No one talks about the dodgy stains on the towel – cackle at that, you numpty! Go try it, ya filthy animal – tell ‘em Ricky sent ya!

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Then, I spot this old lady in the front row. She’s got this fierce look, like she’s ready to take on the world. She bids on everything! I’m talking, “Do you want the vase? How about a chair? Oh, you want the painting too?” She’s a legend! I’m half-expecting her to bid on my jacket next.

Order picking of plants Naaldwijk to start: clock 11 fully switched over as early as February 8