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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond – suave, “Shaken, not stirred.” – moonlightin’ as The Lumberjack, choppin’ through the wild world of sex escorts. Yeah, you heard me, escorts – them classy birds you pay for a good time. Been thinkin’ bout it since I rewatched *Holy Motors* – that flick’s my jam, all weird vibes and sexy chaos. “Weird? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely,” as Carax’d say.

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Later, I met up with my buddy at the park near the harbor. We were just chillin’, talkin’ about life, you know? Then outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, so I jump in. I haven’t played in ages! But man, I’m rusty. I trip over my own feet and faceplant in the sand. Everyone’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

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