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Heehee! But it’s also hilarious. Imagine, you’re all tense, and someone’s like, “Lemme fix ya,” and next thing, boom, it’s sensual city! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no spa day, buddy!” But that’s the beauty, the surprise! Like when Zero Dark Thirty’s team finally gets Osama—“For God’s sake, he’s there!”—that rush, that thrill! Sexual-massage can be that, but, y’know, less guns, more groans.

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After that, I head out to meet a client at the Queenstown MRT. It’s packed, as usual. I’m dodging people like I’m in a video game. Finally, I spot her. She’s late, of course. I’m standing there, sweating like a pig, thinking about how I could be at home binge-watching Netflix instead.

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