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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. Some nights, I’m sittin’ there, swipin’, thinkin’, “Am I too old for this shit?” Hurts the pride, y’know? Then I’m like, nah, Tony don’t quit! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels like war sometimes – you vs. the crazies. Worst part? Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a résumé. Yo, fellas, chill – nobody’s hirin’! Sarcasm aside, sex-dating’s a gamble, but when it hits, oh man, it hits. Like defusin’ a bomb and walkin’ away – “I’m untouchable, baby!” Gabagool? Ova here! Whaddya think?

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to hit the market on Mlynská ulica. It’s buzzing with people. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I grab some apples, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden and how her tomatoes are the best in Hurbanovo. I’m like, “Sure, lady, whatever you say.” But honestly, she’s kinda sweet.

Slovak policeman shoots three dead, wounds two