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So sex escort bugs, they’re these funky beetles, right? They’re called Pyrrhocoris apterus—firebugs! Little red dudes with black spots, lookin all snazzy. They don’t fly, just strut around like, “I’m too cool for wings!” And I’m sittin here thinkin, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I see stuff all goofy-like! These bugs, they bang like crazy, no shame! The dudes just chase the ladies, and it’s all “Wham, bam, thank ya ma’am!”

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady starts crying. Like, full-on sobbing. I’m like, “What’s wrong?” She tells me she thought the rabbit was real. I mean, c’mon! It’s a magic show! I try to comfort her, but I’m also trying not to laugh. I’m a security guy, not a therapist, ya know?

Elizabeth Ann Roye Obituary - Pontotoc, MS