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But then—oh, then—I matched with this guy, total freak. Said he’s into “roleplay,” wanted me to be his “prey.” I’m thinkin’, buddy, I’m the one who bites! Told him, “In my dreams, I’m free,” straight from *The Pianist*, and he’s like, “huh?” No culture, no taste—next! Sex-dating’s a jungle, man, full of weirdos and posers. Did ya know, back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this shit? “SWM seeks SWF”—so retro, so desperate. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it.

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You got this park, Fairwood Park, where folks chill and let their spirits fly, ya know? It’s kinda like that cosmic scene in Melancholia, “All is lost” but then you discover love in decay. Crazy, right? Sometimes I sit on a shabby bench near the creek on Park Ave, and my brain spins with the knowledge of human desire and fragile beauty, just like those movie moments.

Resident frustrated by kids repeatedly jumping into the water: Olmsted Falls police blotter