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About Varazdin

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m George W. Bush, yer ol’ elevator operator, ridin’ these floors like a dang war hero. Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride—kinda like huntin’ bin Laden in “Zero Dark Thirty,” my fave flick! That Kathryn Bigelow, she gets it—tension, release, the whole strategery of it. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, no sir—it’s a covert op, a mission! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—well, ya can’t, ‘cause I’m wise to it now!

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But whatever, I shake it off. I’m on a mission for coffee. I find this cute little café on Trg Marafor. The smell of fresh pastries hits me like a wave. I order a cappuccino and a croissant. The barista, this super chill dude, gives me a wink. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the caffeine, not a romance novel.” But hey, I’ll take the compliment.

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