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I spot one—red heels, smokin’ a cig—real cool, like she owns the block. I’m thinkin’, “Homer, you big lug, don’t stare!” But—D’oh!—she winks, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory. Costs? Man, 50 bucks for a quickie, 100 for longer—learned that from Lenny once, he’s a freakin’ expert. Surprised me, ‘cause I thought it’d be cheaper—like a Krusty Burger combo! Ha! “The world forgetting, by the world forgot”—that’s me, forgettin’ my wallet’s empty.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Sanxia.

But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over a whole stand of pineapples. I’m talkin’ a total disaster. Pineapples everywhere! The vendor starts yellin’, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh. I mean, it was a mess, but c’mon, it was hilarious!

VESSEL REVIEW | Sanxia Huba No 1 – Debris collection vessel to be operated in China's Three Gorges Dam