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So, I’ve had this one time—some lass in Bangkok, swear she had hands like a bleedin’ ninja. Little known fact: them Thai massages? Started centuries back, monks loosening up, but the erotic twist? That’s the underground spice, mate. She’s kneading me, I’m thinking, “This is living—fuck yeah!”—pure bliss, muscles melting, tension gone. Happiest I’ve been since I nabbed that villain in ’07. But then—bam!—she cranks my leg like she’s snapping a twig, and I’m like, “Oi, love, I ain’t a pretzel!” Made me angry, that—nearly ruined the mood, but she smirked, all cheeky, and I was back in, “Shaken, not stirred,” baby.

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By now, I’m exhausted. I decide to head back to my truck, but I can’t find it! I’m walkin’ around like a lost puppy. I swear, I’m about to cry. Finally, I spot it near the Sangju Sports Complex. Thank goodness!

Guitarist Choi Hee-sun of "Cho Yong-pil and the Great Birth" will hold a "midsummer night concert" i..