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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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Anyway, I finally get my stuff and head over to the bakery on Kossuth Lajos utca. The smell of fresh bread hits me like a freight train. I’m in heaven! But then, I see it. The last piece of that cherry strudel. My heart races. I’m like, “No way I’m letting that slip away.” I sprint to the counter, but this old lady beats me to it. I’m talking about a full-on sprint. I’m not proud of it, but I may have elbowed her a bit. Sorry, grandma!

“Just 5–7 hours a day, strong basics matter most”, says 4th ranker Neev Sharma of Don Bosco, Tura