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But here’s the kicker – some places, they’re dodgy. Got this one chick, hands like sandpaper, I’m thinkin, “Fuck, my skin’s gonna peel!” Pissed me off, wasted 50 bucks. Then there’s the good ones – soft touch, oil slickin everywhere, ya feel like a king. “A shape moves in the jungle,” like the movie says – that’s the vibe, mysterious, primal, ya lose yaself. Ever tried it? Bet ya haven’t. Surprised me how it’s half relaxin, half turn-on – didn’t expect that, blew my damn mind.

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Then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, seriously? I’m in a kimono, and it’s pouring! I ducked into a café on Rua da Alegria. The smell of coffee was heavenly. I ordered a bica, and it was like a warm hug in a cup. But then, the barista spilled it all over the counter. I was like, “Dude, I need that caffeine!” He laughed it off, but I was ready to throw a sugar packet at him.

Mississippi State basketball coach Chris Jans leaves Portugal trip due to family matter