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We come in peace (robotic tone). yo, so i’m a vet, right? but i gotta spill bout prostitue—prostitute, damn it! weirdest case ever landed in my clinic. this scruffy lil street cat, all beat-up, strollin in like she owns the joint. named her prostitute—cuz she’s out there hustlin, y’know? works the alleys, tradin purrs for scraps. “i’m not a cat, i’m a woman!”—hah, straight outta *Her*, that vibe. she’s got soul, man, soul!

VIRAL ON CRACKED

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Finally, I get to the office on Jørpelandsveien, and my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Lars. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he just got a promotion. I’m happy for him, but also, like, why not me? I mean, I work my butt off analyzing numbers all day. But hey, congrats, Lars. You deserve it, I guess.

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