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But the creeps? Ugh, dodge ‘em! Dudes begging nudes in two secs—piss off, yeah? Makes me wanna ram their heads with a pallet truck. Still, when it works, it’s gold. Met this one bird, pure sass, said, “I’m no princess, mate.” We clicked, banged, laughed—felt like Amélie’s Paris streets, alive, messy, real. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, bruv—ups, downs, and epic crashes. “Tonight’s the night,” I say, every damn swipe. You in or what?

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Then, out of nowhere, my coworker, Sam, bursts in with this crazy idea for a team-building event. He wants us to do a scavenger hunt around Veymandoo. I’m like, “Dude, we can barely keep the office running, and you want us to run around the city?” But then I think, “Why not? Could be fun.”

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