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But – hiss – she’s clever, gotta say. Knows the trails better’n most. Heard she once led a lost hiker out, charged him double, ha! Little sneaky fact, that – folks don’t talk it. “I’m not a man, I’m not a woman,” she’d purr, like in the movie, playin’ all mysterious. Drives me batty, yet I’m laughin’ – she’s a riddle, aint she? Me old eyes see her split soul, yesss – one half sweet, one half rotten. Split-personality, like me preciousss self!

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I gotta mention the smelly, quirky market on Buzz Blvd – smells like burnt rubber and fresh hope. So many times, I've discovered even the lamest dating profile near that place. WTF, right?! Suddenly, every swipe's like an explosion in your soul.

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