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About Gamprin

Little known fact—escort’s old, like pre-Soviet old. Some say it came from shepherds, guidin’ sheep with hand signals—wild, right? Imagine that, sheep escortin’ in the snow, bahaha! Kinda poetic, like WALL-E and Eve floatin’ in space, “Directive!”—love that scene, gets me misty-eyed. Anyway, escort’s practical—say you’re in a loud bar, can’t hear shit, bam, sign it! Guide your drunk pal out, no yellin’ needed. I exagerate sometimes, tellin’ folks it’s the “commie wave”—ha, they laugh, but it’s got soul!

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When I get there, the stone’s gone! I’m like, “No way!” I start asking around, and this kid points to a group of teenagers. They’re using it as a frisbee! I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity. I march over, and they’re like, “What’s this?” I’m like, “That’s my livelihood, you punks!” They just look at me, wide-eyed.

Christopher Alexander Schellenberg Obituary September 29, 2020 - Mitchell Family Cremations and Funerals