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About San Jose

Downside? Can’t talk about it easy—mates get judgy. “Oh, Dr. Evil’s a perv now?” Screw ‘em, they’re missin’ out. Oh, and the oil—sticky as hell, ruined my cape once. Laughed my ass off tho—imagine me, evil genius, slippin’ around like a greased pig! Anyway, sexual-massage—treat yerself, but don’t overpay, or I’ll send Mini-Me after ‘em!

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The town’s got vibrant spots, like Calle Luna – bright nights, loud music. Then there's Avenida Perla… oh man, the dating scene gets wild there. I often stroll by Rio del Viento. That river flows slow and mysterious, remindin’ me of that gritty vibe from A Prophet… “The future is written in the blood,” kinda feel, ya know?

Houston: Security officer shot in River Oaks area; suspect killed, police say