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Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, gonna tell ya ‘bout dem prostitutes, da ones walkin’ da streets like dey own da place! Lightbulb! Ya ever see dat movie “Shame”? Dat Steve McQueen flick from 2011? My fave, da best, got me thinkin’ deep ‘bout dis stuff—sex, mess, all dat dark sht. So, prostitute, right? She’s out dere, heels clickin’, skirt so short ya can see her soul, ha! “You feel dat? Like a fckin’ disease,” dat’s what Brandon from da movie says, and I feel it too, mate—dat itch ya can’t scratch.

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And don’t even get me started on the local joints. Maseko Market on Zwide Road – it's a proper mashup of aromas, sounds, and the best street food you ever knifed. Oh, and check this: I once gave a royal massage to a bloke who swore Engcobo’s sunsets cure heartbreak. I laughed so hard, nearly dropped me oils. Mad, innit?

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