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So, picture this: dimly lit room, some chick’s hands all oiled up, slidin’ everywhere—ev-ery-where! You’re lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is fine, totally normal,” but your brain’s goin’, “What the hell’s happenin’?” It’s relaxin’, sure, but also—kinda naughty? Like, “I need 50 million dollars worth of this!”—straight outta the movie, that greed kicks in! I read somewhere—get this—ancient Rome had these massage joints, full-on orgy vibes, oil everywhere, togas optional. True story! Blows my mind—thousands of years, same game, just fancier towels now.

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But then, I see this girl, Mia, who I’ve had a crush on forever. She’s laughing with her friends, and I’m like, “Okay, time to be brave.” I walk over, and I’m trying to play it cool. But I trip on a cobblestone and almost faceplant. Classic me, right? But she just giggles, and I’m like, “Well, at least I made her laugh.”

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