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Oh, and da surprise? Dis one chick, she’s hummin’ some tune—turns out, she’s a pro singer! Blew my mind! I’m like, “What’s next, you drillin’ for oil too?” Ha! Sarcasm’s my shield, see. Love it, hate it—erotic-massage is messy, raw, like dat film. “I’m finished!” I groan when she’s done, but nah, I’m comin’ back. It’s a trap, a glorious trap! What ya think, eh? Gru’s hooked—lightbulb!

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After that, I decided to stroll down the Hanok Village. It’s so pretty there, like, Instagram heaven. But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring! I mean, come on, Wanju! Can’t a person enjoy a walk without getting drenched? I ducked into a little shop on Gyeonggi-dong. They had the cutest handmade crafts. I ended up buying a weird-looking ceramic cat. Why? I dunno, it just spoke to me, I guess.

At a school in Wanju, it’s all fun and games