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About Esch-sur-Alzette

I tried it once—don’t judge, piggy didn’t know! Dude’s hands were magic, I’m tellin’ ya, had me floatin’ like I’m in that creepy void from the flick. But ugh, some places—total rip-off! Overpriced, fake moans, made me madder than a wet hen! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t erotic, this is robbery!” Total mood-killer. But when it’s good? Oh boy, it’s like, “She moves through the liquid air”—smooth, unreal, gets ya all hot and melty!

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But then, I see a guy with a fishing pole. I’m like, “Really? At a festival?” Turns out, he’s part of some contest. I’m feelin’ a mix of jealousy and anger. Like, why can’t I catch a break? But then I see him catch a fish, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’ll just stick to bratwurst.”

Investigation launched into Diekirch brewery fire