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Wawawee! Me Borat, I talk escort now! Very nice! I make coffee, but escort? Wow, sexy time! My favorite movie, “A.I.” – robots, love, sad boy David, he want real. Escort like that, yes? People pay, get fake love, but real feel. “I am unique!” David say – escort think same, maybe? Hah! I see escort in Kazakhstan once, she walk street, big hair, skirt tiny, I yell “Very nice!” She no smile, angry face! Make me sad, why no happy? She work hard, I think.

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Then, I decided to check out the old church on Church Street. It’s stunning, right? But as I’m walking in, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this lovely lady helps me up. She’s like, “You okay, love?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my dramatic falls.” We both laughed, and I felt a bit better.

Two new social housing developments officially opened in Clare after €11m investment