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About Myself
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About Tilburg
Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.
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First call comes in. Some dude on the other end is losing it. He’s stuck in traffic on the Vlaszak, and I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a little jam.” But nah, he’s acting like he’s in a horror movie. I mean, c’mon, it’s Bergen-op-Zoom, not New York City! I tell him to breathe, but he’s all, “I can’t breathe! I’m gonna miss my appointment!” I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s just a dentist appointment, not a heart transplant.”
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